Sometimes I am aware that social media is toxic for me, but I don't think that I am fully aware of the extent to which it is. I have a habit of scrolling through the Instagram explore tab, for literally hours. I see all of these thin, tan, happy women with seemingly perfect lives eating perfect food and I pretend that I am inspired by their posts.
And I guess to a certain point I am inspired but I am also disappointed. Why can't I achieve that? Why can't I eat like that and look like that and be that happy with my body? This is when social media is so toxic. I know I am only seeing the best meal, the most flattering pose, and the filters with excellent edits.
Yet the frustration with myself lingers far longer than my scrolling trances. The conflicting feelings continue because I also see these BOPO (body positive) women who advocate for body positivity at every size, and I fully agree, but I feel like I can't even achieve that. I can't be positive about my body at its size. So what am I going to do about this?
First off, I need to stop ✋ looking at the explore tab; it's toxic for me and it's okay to admit that. I need to write about how I am feeling that day and why I am feeling that way. Most importantly, I need to cut myself some slack. Focus on making exercise that makes my body feel good a priority. Focus on feeding my body with food that nourishes me. Focus on the people around me who love me, including my body for exact what I am. As always, I am a work in progress.
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